The biggest differences between Houston and Dallas

1. Hairspray vs Hair straighteners

I have seen women in Dallas bathrooms open their large Louis Vuitton bag and pull out a full OTHER Louis Vuitton bag jammed with makeup, hair spray, toothpaste, whitening strips, curlers, etc. They’ll then help themselves to a FULL mirror in a crowded bar bathroom at midnight while a line of women waits outside. Houston women would punch you in the face for wasting their time like that or hogging the mirror: All they need is a hair straightener to fight the humidity and a pony tail holder when it’s no use trying to tame that mess of a hair-do.

2. Traffic on 75N vs Westheimer during rush hour.

If you are smooth at taking the back roads in Dallas to avoid rush hour, remember Houston doesn’t have back roads. If you think you are on one, you will likely end up going the wrong way and end up in Cypress, I know this because I tried it yesterday.

3. Most vibrant culture: Montrose vs. Deep Ellum?

Growing up in Houston, the vintage buys in Montrose are not to be rivaled, however Deep Ellum in Dallas is making a comeback these days. 10 years ago, you would have been scared to leave your purse in the car, today, the bars are vibrant, cocktails are shaking and, if I may, Deep Vellum has gone “hipster.” Hold on to your culture Deep Ellum, don’t change for the Dallas yuppies, please!

4. Mavs vs Rockets + ice hockey

Houston is known as Clutch City from an amazing Rockets team back in the day. They have not quite earned that nickname back yet, but they are really trying. The Astros are quickly working themselves away from their “disastros” nickname and a good rivalry has awakened between the Texas Rangers and the Astros. The Rangers fan base seems to be rooting harder and the NAP-O-LI cheers are always catchy. The one thing Dallas has is ICE HOCKEY — and who doesn’t love a good old-fashioned brawl of bearded men in the name of Stars hockey.

5. Wait, Houston has a University?

For those of you who do not know the University of Houston exists, they have a good football program, and they are not just a commuter school! UH is accompanied by Rice, St. Thomas and a handful of other schools in Houston. In Dallas, I challenge you to meet someone who hasn’t gone to SMU or doesn’t give you their opinions on SMU constantly.

6. Houston restaurants vs Dallas restaurants, portion size or good eats?

Houston is well known for its food. The Pappas family and the Carrabba family are from H town, just to name a few. Think Pappadeux, Pappasitos, etc. Any given day in Houston you could walk into a restaurant, get AMAZING food for a good solid price and be completely happy. Not to mention, the seafood and Mexican food in Houston cannot be beat, hello Molinas! In Dallas, they are trying hard to catch up but most of their restaurants charge WAY more than necessary for a portion the size of a Fiat in a Ford Truck world.

7. The Houston Galleria vs. Northpark Mall

This one really is a toss-up, NOT. The Houston Galleria is HUGE, I don’t think I have even been through the entire thing. You can find all sorts of shopping there, high end, low end — and the celebrity sightings are common. Northpark mall in Dallas has more of a “Valet my car while I run into Neiman’s to buy a gift card for my new neighbor…” vibe. It’s good shopping but not much diversity.

8. Who runs the world? Girls

Dallas has a WAY higher female population than male. It is not uncommon for many Dallas bars to be full of gorgeous women that all somehow look the same, beautiful blonde hair, awesome jewelry, on point outfit. Houston’s ratio favors men 3:1. (Houston Chronicle) Women in Houston do not have to work so hard or in competition with other women as much, there are enough men to go around! No wonder the woman in Dallas had her full bag of make up at the bar, she wants to get her a man!

9. Downtown Houston vs Downtown Dallas

Downtown Houston is a force to be reckoned with — as in any major downtown city, watch your back while you walk alone, and you can easily get lost. Downtown Dallas on the other hand is a great walking area, with rows of beautiful hotels, gorgeous parks, and tons of dogs. Downtown Dallas has the original Neimans and the beautiful Joule hotel where everyone is welcome. The bars in Downtown Dallas I used to frequent like the One Eyed Penguin were known for their regulars and how close they were to the many historic buildings turned apartments.

10. Memorial Park Vs Katy Trail?

Memorial Park is THE place to jog in Houston, it has a great central location, lots of dogs, ample parking around the park, and the trail is gravel so you will be feeling muscles the next day you never knew you had. I have been lapped by very intense runners on Memorial park trail, as it is a circle and you know exactly where you are based on land marks along the loop. Katy trail in Dallas is more of a social scene. It’s not circular, and many a female social butterfly (like the one I mentioned in the bar bathroom above) may find herself on Katy trail scoping out the Dallas men or walking to a bar right off the trail. Yes, this trail has bars, why run or walk for exercise when you can walk to the Katy Trail Icehouse for schooners or burgers, and watch for a shirtless Troy Aikman jogging the trail? If you are looking for a workout with just you, your headphones, and your dog, I vote Memorial Park. If you are wanting to wear your new lululemon gear and people watch, Katy Trail is perfect.

11. Which city is friendlier?

This one I struggle with, because my time in downtown Dallas was so much fun and I made many friends for life. When you venture out into the uptown area of Dallas however, the only friend you will make is the mechanical bull at The Trophy Room or the boy who just puked all over it. Houston has many more group activities and ways to feel included, but you have to get out there and search for them. Seems as though everyone in Houston has unique interests and probably a secret hang-out or two up their sleeve, so make sure to ask the locals where to go and what to do. Dallas is much more showy, you can navigate without a local easily, and make new friends while you are doing it.